On Greeting a Stranger on the Street...

Just a little something

Eh, I feel like I'm doing nothing in TAG right now (though hopefully I'll be doing a head sculpture with clay sometime soon), but today I did a bit of writing. I started off just writing what came out without paying attention to spelling, grammar, punctuation.. anything. I didn't let myself use the backspace key, and I just wrote whatever came out. I of course, didn't save that, as what comes out would generally be your most private thoughts, and.. although they werent the most private ones, they were close.

Anyway.. after that, I started writing in a similar manner, but allowing myself to use backspace, and spell right and such.. I didn't try to write anything great or even anything that meant anything to me, but I came out with this:



If I want to find it where do I go to find the boxes in my room close me in and hold me down until I conform to the future of today's society and I find that I can no longer think for myself and I buy the TVs they want me to and I watch the shows they want me to and I become part of the mass media machine only to die with nothing in my life and nothing after life and no accomplishments and I have no clue what happens to the world without me and does it truly go on without my guidance and my support because it seems so unlikely and so unreal that some day I'll be dead, me, the only human on the earth that is truly conscious from my point of view and some day I'll find that I am old and sick and I'll look back on my life and think of the regrets I have for not doing things now and not having experienced life while I still could or maybe I'll die in some freak accident or be killed by some madman holding a gun to my soul which I don't believe in, and then, does it truly exist if someone can take it away from me but in my mind, the mind that shapes the world from the only perspective I can take, it does not exist? How will the older self feel that I know this now but that I could not have had the simple foresight to stop it from happening and is that truly what life is about, the total chaos of existence but why does life have to be anything except the simple piece of beauty that it is, a random occurrence in the life of the universe, only existing for a split second but for that second it is the most beautiful thing that the universe has created more beautiful than the birth of planets or entire galaxies full of stars that glow, but not with love and peace a human thing, a natural thing, but how can nature exist only of life if life is but a second in the universe, but the universe is really only elemental gasses that we'll look back on in hundreds of years and think "did they really believe that? How ignorant they must have been" and its true because we know nothing, and in hundreds of years they'll look back on me and think "how unfortunate he was, to live in that time" just like I do to people who lived hundreds of years ago, because they don't have the TVs and the media which are the perks of life of the time that I live in, but some day they'll have things that I only wish I could imagine that I only wish that I could think up and I would cry if I were still alive, if I were still conscious enough to understand that what happens after I die is simply this:



And that's it. It's not profound, doesn't make sense, but at least it's full of things that I can piece together, and although they won't mean anything to anyone else, the piece has significance to me, and that's all that really matters. I don't really expect [m]any people to read it, but.. oh well.