On Greeting a Stranger on the Street...

Confirmation again and again - But it isn't enough

Some of my titles actually mean something really important I'm thinking about.. ones like this are only partially based on thought and partly on fantasy. This one is one of the latter.

So.. today was.. nothing. School didn't suck, but it hasn't yet this year. I'm on neutral ground with it. The only two bad classes I have are chem and precalc. They both just suck because they're incredibly boring, not because they're bad classes. Didn't have any particularly good conversations with anyone, nothing too memorable at least. Aerobics sucked as much as I expected it to, so no surprise there. Everything was neutral, but then again, nothing was satisfying. I'd like more of the satisfaction part. Thats the worst thing I can say about my life right now; not satisfying.

I wish more people would be open and honest. This is what is so great about some people I know. And it's also a weak point of many others. But none of that seems to matter, anymore. No real reason for the change, just the natural progression of things. I having to try to read into what people are saying. Hidden meanings and such. But then again, I can't really talk.. I put so much meaning into what I say without actually saying it, wondering if people actually pick up on it. They never really do. Well, some of them. Some of those who are open and honest. Ironic, no?

"How about another first kiss?" (TMBG)

I think, if I were to predict what my happiness graph were to be like sometime in the near future, it would be planing out about now, maybe gradually going up in a few months. I think I'm just kind of waiting for something to happen. And I'm manipulating it in little ways here and there to get that something to be in a favorable state for me. Hopefully this sort of thing works?

I love my fantasies in my head... Just little things I wish would happen, or how I'd want certain confrontations or situations to go. Though now I don't know how unrealistic or realistic some are.

I wonder how she'd take that?

I'm almost 100% sure I'll be shaving it all off this weekend. I don't really know why I grew it all out in the first place. Probably some stupid "new me" shit or something.. I really don't know, but I look in the mirror and I don't see me. I've also been playing with the idea of a haircut.. not much shorter, though, and getting my contacts back in.. who knows.

I.. really do wonder how she'd take it. How would I even be saying it? I think I know.